Before the State Of The Union

• kthalps: guys, the only way obama can repeal dont ask dont tell is if we dont ask dont tell. so shut up abt it. duh!

State Of The Union Starts
kthalps: I guess we'll have accept third-place "I do not accept
second-place for the United States of America." -Barack Obama.#SOTU
#Union address

• kthalps: joe biden blinks a lot. Nancy Pelosi barely blinks. Between the two of them, they blink at an average rate. #SOTU
• kthalps: did Joe Biden & Nancy Pelosi coordinate wearing
  purple (tie and suit, respectively)? And was that a reference 2 shades
  of blue/red = purple
• kthalps: looks like America is united by collective desire to punish banks!
• kthalps: u know Sandra Sotomayor had 2 use all self control 2 not slap Alito for saying "not true" #SOTU
• kthalps: I wrote Sandra Sotomayor intentionally. I was honoring O'Conner 4 opening door for female judges like Sonia. DUH!

After SOTU

• kthalps: Chris Matthews' comments about forgetting Obama was black was so Matthewsian. #sotu

McDonnell Response

• kthalps: Where did the Republicans find the three black people to stand behind Bob McConnell? #SOTU
• kthalps: why does the asian guy in glasses behind mcconnell keep nodding? It's like he's a bobble head #SOTU
• kthalps: sorry, make that mcdonnel. all white names look the same to me
• kthalps:i think "we welcome ur ideas on facebook and twitter" was not a joke. But audience laughed. Awks
• kthalps: oh snap! McConnel's daughter was in the army. Can't say
  that about Sasha or Malia, can you Barack Obama! Boooyakashah! #SOTU
  response
• kthalps: oh nice! McDonnel is advocating torture! "foreign terror suspect given same rights as U.S. citizen" I love it when Republicans get rt to the point #SOTU response
• kthalps: did they build this set especially for McDonnel's speech? #SOTU response

Commentary after SOTU & response

• kthalps: my mom on Anthony Weiner: "He was
  never married b4? Katie, find me a picture of his girlfriend online"
  #SOTU #thingsmymomsays
• kthalps: david Axelrod needs to brush his eyebrows. They got all hot & bothered during #SOTU

Political scientists and historians from Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity to Lyndon LaRouche to that woman with short brown hair who, I deduce, must be a scholar of German history, are comparing Obama to Hitler and his likening his health care plan to Nazism. Liberal bullies and freedom of speech haters like Barney Frank are trying to silence these brave Americans who are speaking truth to Nazi power just as they want to smother our grandmothers. But is it so wrong to compare the Communist-Nazi-Muslim-Jeremiah Wright-following Obama to Hitler? Does comparing health care reform aimed at saving millions of lives to an extermination of millions of lives trivialize the holocaust? I think not! They say those who don't learn their history are condemned to repeat its mistakes. Well, a quick look at the history, the facts and data analysis reveal the frightening and shocking similarities between Obama and Hitler. Will America realize this before its too late?

Everyone is speculating about the ways Sotomayor's personal background will compromise her judicial integrity. I mean, it's pretty hard to hold a gavel while eating arroz con pollo, let alone while having a vagina. Here is a list of some glimpses into the personal lives of Supreme Court judges.

1. Judge Breyer opens up about exploring his sexuality: "In my experience when I was 8 or 10 or 12 years old, you know, we did take our clothes off once a day.... We changed for gym, O.K.? And in my experience, too, people did sometimes stick things in my underwear."
2. Scalia declares that when it comes to allegations of crotching, you're guilty until searched and/ or proven innocent: "You search in the student's pack, you search the student's outer garments, and you have a reasonable suspicion that the student has drugs.... Don't you have, after conducting all these other searches, a reasonable suspicion that she has drugs in her underpants? You've searched everywhere else.... By God, the drugs must be in her underpants."
3. Scalia challenges stereotypes about Italians using their hands. Scalia insists the gesture is not offensive or obscene, in which case it can only be interpreted as a gesture or Jewish-Italian hand-using unity.
4. Rehnquist is accused of being a Jew by President Nixon. Referring to Rehnquist as ''Renchberg...the guy dressed like a clown," alluding to Rehnquist's loud shirt and psychedelic tie, the president asked, ''Is he Jewish? He looks it.''
5. Rehnquist brings jazz hands into court. The musical theater buff adds 4 gold braid stripes to the sleeves of his robe after seeing a production of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Iolanthe," in which The Lord Chancellor (comic baritone) wears the costume.
6. Clarence Thomas makes history by becoming first Supreme Court justice accused of asking "Who has pubic hair on my coke?"
7. John Roberts is trans-friendly. A member of the drama club at high school, Roberts plays the female character of Peppermint Patty in the school's production of You're A Good Man Charlie Brown.
8. Mom's say the darnedest things. While her son is trying to stay "mum" on roe v wade, Rose Alito tells the media "of course he's against abortion."
9. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry." After Alito is attacked for his membership (which he can't even recall) in a harmless group (committed to blocking women and minorities from being admitted to Princeton,) Alito's wife starts "crying hysterically after Ted Kennedy made her cry"/ after being reminded she married a bigot.
10. Nominee gets verbed. Bork gets "borked," this losing the nomination but winning the honor of having his name become a verb ("to bork")

To read in order scroll down and read up. Like Hebrew but vertically, not horizontally. 

Katie My mom on Obama: "He's such a nice kid, he's such a nice guy. I like him so much."via Ping.fm - 9:12pm -

The first day on the job, President Obama flaunted his far left liberal colors  at the "Swinging" Inaugural Ball. Sources close to Michelle and Barack say the couple has an army uniform fetish.

I'm in this NYTimes.com Laugh Lines thing. Pretty cool. I hope Obama reads it. See the  full article with other responses from my partners in comedic crime Lee Camp and Baratunde Thurston and from writers from The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Late Show with David Latterman, Real Time with Bill Maher and more  by clicking on the read more link below

Cartoons / Humor

Surviving the Obama Comedy Crisis: A Report From the Front Lines  

Guest Humorist | Daniel Kurtzman

For those in the business of political mockery, the last 16 years have been a glorious golden age. If Bill Clinton was a full-employment act for political comedians, then George W. Bush was a welfare program.

But when Barack Obama takes the oath of office on Tuesday, the era of easy presidential punch lines may be coming to a close. As it has been widely noted in humor circles, Obama remains a tough target. So far, the most memorable Obama mockery has ranged from the utterly atrocious (see: the “Barack the Magic Negro” song parody debacle) to the mildly amusing (Fred Armisen’s competent but guffaw-free impersonation of Obama on “Saturday Night Live”).

What’s in store for political humor in the age of Obama? Will he be the president who presides over the bursting of the comedy bubble? Or can he find a way to bail out the comedy industry too? There’s no better way to find out than directly from those on the front lines of the comedy crisis — the comedians, joke writers, and satirists tasked with the urgent work of fortifying our nation’s strategic humor reserves:

Katie Halper, comic, blogger and co-founder of Laughing Liberally:

I’m freaking out because it’s hard, not to mention forbidden, to make fun of your messiah. In all honesty, I’m not nervous that Obama won’t make any material-inspiring mistakes — he already has. His vote on FISA was disappointing (although it does show Obama’s in touch with the American people and listening to everything we say). And unless a native American lesbian Wicca priestess delivers part two of Obama’s invocation, Rick Warren will not represent inclusion (although the pastor does resemble a big tent). But how can I stay mad? All Obama has to do is smile at Fareed Zakaria or go topless in Hawaii, and my ire and satire melt away. Oh, Obama, I hate myself for loving you.

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

1. Barack the Magic Negro "Joke" exposes the GOP's true colors: Conservatives are not, never were, and never will be funny.
2. Diane Feinstein prefers pro-torture CIA Drector, but will accept Panetta nomination -- if you twist her arm... or waterboard Her.
3. Topless Obama: Good news for fans of Obama (and his pecs). Obama says appearing shirtless "goes with this job." Heeeeello!
4. Bush calls his No Child Left Behind Plan a "liberation" [of children from education].
5. Arrest of young men who attacked black and latino men and ran over white man they thought was black proves some racists are too dumb to understand how racism works.

Related articles

• Feinstein OKs Panetta
• Feinstein says she'll support Panetta.

Joe Biden is never at a loss for words. Clearly this former stutterer is making up for lost time. So when George Stephanopoulos asked Biden why Obama had chosen Warren--a man who compares homosexuality to incest and pedophelia--to deliver the invocation, Biden got right to the point:

"Well, look, Barack Obama, candidate Obama, Senator Obama, President-elect Obama [JUST SO WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE ON WHICH BARACK OBAMA I'M TALKING ABOUT] has a--a stellar and outspoken record in support of equality for all Americans, including gay and lesbian Americans. But he also has made a judgment--I think correctly--that in order to heal the wounds of this country and move this country forward so we get out of this--this--this mindset overstated of red and blue and the like--that he was going to reach out, he was going to reach out...this is a time to reach out [NOT REACH AROUND.]"

This prudish position is somewhat surprising coming from a man who once waxed romantic about spending time with men in foxholes:

"I've been in these foxholes with these kids, literally in bunkers with them. Let me tell you something, nobody asked anybody else whether they're gay in those foxholes. Our allies--the British, the French, all our major allies--gays openly serve. I don't know the last time an American soldier said to a backup from a Brit, 'Hey, by the way, let me check. Are you gay? Are you straight?' This is ridiculous."

A picture speaks a thousand words. It looks like somebody, i mean some bodies, (Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama) have a bad case of ELS (Executive-Legislative Sexual tension.)

 

 

Baratunde Thurston of Jack n Jill, The Onion, and Laughing Liberally and voter suppression wiki watching results at 23/6 party. He's a little low key, but whatever.  Baratunde Thurston is probably one of the best people to be with when you hear that Obama is our president. Gotta run, so this is just a sample! Better QUALITY version coming soon