McCain John Hagee

Readers may recall that in an effort to counteract the media's anti-McCain bias, I gathered the top 10 best quotes uttered by McCain's spiritual advisers. While the liberal press was giving its undivided attention to Reverend Jeremiah Wright, I decided I would highlight the invaluable but overlooked and ignored contributions McCain's own religious allies, most notable Pastor John Hagee, whose endorsement McCain went out of his way to seek and "ye shall" find. In light of recent revelations about Hagee's spiritual insights into the Holocaust, I am updating this list so it truly reflects the utterly amazing and unbelievable words of Hagee. (Pastor Rod Parsley, if you're reading this, I apologize to for cutting you from the updated top ten list. I do appreciate you commitment to destroying Islam and his attempt to raise awareness of the low lesbian life expectancy. But you and Hagee and are too special to have to share a top ten list. I will make you your own next week.) So here are the "Updated Top Ten Hagee-isms," new and improved, with never-before-released hits from his "Thank God for Hitler" sermon.

1. NEW! "God says in Jeremiah 16 - 'Behold I will bring them the Jewish people again unto their land that I gave unto their fathers' - that would be Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - 'Behold I will send for many fishers and after will I send for many hunters. And they the hunters shall hunt them' - that will be the Jews - 'from every mountain and from every hill and from out of the holes of the rocks.' If that doesn't describe what Hitler did in the Holocaust... you can't see that. So think about this - I will send fishers and I will send hunters." - Pastor John Hagee in a sermon

2. NEW! "Then god sent a hunter. A hunter is someone with a gun and he forces you. Hitler was a hunter. And the Bible says -- Jeremiah writing -- 'They shall hunt them from every mountain and from every hill and from the holes of the rocks,' meaning there's no place to hide. And that might be offensive to some people but don't let your heart be offended. I didn't write it, Jeremiah wrote it. It was the truth and it is the truth. How did it happen? Because God allowed it to happen. Why did it happen? Because God said my top priority for the Jewish people is to get them to come back to the land of Israel." - Pastor John Hagee in a sermon

3. NEW! "Theodore Herzl is the father of Zionism. He was a Jew who at the turn of the 19th century said, this land is our land, God wants us to live there. So he went to the Jews of Europe and said 'I want you to come and join me in the land of Israel.' So few went that Herzl went into depression. Those who came founded Israel; those who did not went through the hell of the holocaust." - Pastor John Hagee in a sermon Here are some oldies but goodies...

4. "Do you know the difference between a woman with PMS and a snarling Doberman pinscher? The answer is lipstick. Do you know the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist." - Pastor John Hagee in his book What Every Man Wants in a Woman (Charisma House, 2005)

5. "The Quran teaches that [all Muslims have a mandate to kill Christians and Jews]. Yes, it teaches that very clearly." -Pastor John Hagee